By me — Founder of TechSheThink, Creative Director, Emotional Cartographer & Woman Who Used to Apologise When Someone Else Bumped Into Her.
There was a week — a very specific week — when I realised I had been apologising for things that were absolutely not my fault.
Someone bumped into me?
“Sorry!”
Someone sent me the wrong file?
“Sorry!”
Someone misunderstood my message?
“Sorry!”
Someone else’s mistake?
“Sorry!”
My own boundaries?
“Sorry!”
My own needs?
“Sorry!”
My own existence?
“Sorry!”
It was like “sorry” had become my default operating system.
A reflex.
A nervous tic.
A survival strategy.
A personality trait.
And then one day, my brain whispered:
“Why are you apologising for things you didn’t even do?”
And honestly?
I didn’t have an answer.
🌿 It Started With an Email That Wasn’t Even My Fault
I received an email that said:
“Hi, just checking — did you forget to attach the file?”
Except… I wasn’t the one sending the file.
I wasn’t even on that project.
I wasn’t even awake when the file was sent.
But guess what I replied?
“Sorry! Let me check.”
SORRY FOR WHAT?
For existing?
For being cc’d?
For being alive on Earth?
That was the moment I realised something was deeply wrong.
Not with me — but with the way women are conditioned to shrink.
We apologise to soften ourselves.
We apologise to make others comfortable.
We apologise to avoid conflict.
We apologise for seeming “nice.”
We apologise because we were taught that taking up space is rude.
But taking up space is not rude.
It’s human.
🌿
If you’ve ever apologised for things that weren’t your fault — or for simply existing — you’re exactly who I write TechShe Weekly for.
Soft‑power strategies. Emotional clarity. ND‑friendly confidence.
The things women in tech were never taught.
🌿 The Week I Replaced “Sorry” With Something Revolutionary
I didn’t stop apologising overnight.
I’m not a magician.
I’m a woman with a nervous system that panics when someone says,
“Can we talk?”
But I started experimenting.
Instead of “Sorry, I’m late,” I said:
“Thank you for waiting.”
Instead of “Sorry for the delay,” I said:
“Thank you for your patience.”
Instead of “Sorry, I can’t take this on,” I said:
“I don’t have the capacity for this right now.”
Instead of “Sorry, I need a break,” I said:
“I’m taking a break.”
Instead of “Sorry, I didn’t understand,” I said:
“Can you clarify that?”
Instead of “Sorry for asking,” I said:
“I have a question.”
And suddenly?
I felt taller.
Calmer.
More grounded.
More confident.
More like myself.
Because I wasn’t shrinking anymore.
I was standing.
🌿 The Personal Part:
The Day I Apologised for Nothing
There was a moment — a glorious, life‑changing moment — when someone sent me a message that normally would have triggered an instant “sorry.”
But instead, I paused.
I breathed.
I checked in with myself.
And I replied with:
“Thanks for letting me know.”
No apology.
No guilt.
No shrinking.
No self‑blame.
And the world didn’t end.
No one got angry.
No one thought I was rude.
No one accused me of being “difficult.”
In fact, the conversation went more smoothly.
Because clarity is not rude.
Boundaries are not rude.
Confidence is not rude.
Women have just been trained to believe they are.
🌿
If you want weekly reminders that you’re allowed to take up space — and that your voice matters even when it shakes — you’ll love TechShe Weekly.
It’s where women learn soft confidence without the burnout.
🌿 The Week I Realised Apologising Was Costing Me Energy.
Every “sorry” was a tiny leak in my nervous system.
A drip.
A drain.
A slow erosion of self‑trust.
Because every apology said:
“I’m wrong.”
“I’m the problem.”
“I’m responsible for everyone’s feelings.”
“I’m responsible for everyone’s comfort.”
“I’m responsible for everything.”
But I’m not responsible for everything.
I’m responsible for myself.
My energy.
My boundaries.
My clarity.
My truth.
My pace.
My presence.
And when I stopped apologising for things that weren’t mine, I suddenly had more energy for things that were.
🌿 The Day I Realised “Sorry” Was a Mask
Apologising was my way of masking.
Masking my overwhelm.
Masking my ND brain.
Masking my sensitivity.
Masking my confusion.
Masking my boundaries.
Masking my needs.
“Sorry” was a shield.
A buffer.
A way to avoid being seen.
But I don’t want to avoid being seen anymore.
I want to be understood.
And understanding requires honesty — not apologies.
🌿
If you’re tired of shrinking yourself to make others comfortable — and you want a space that celebrates your softness, your boundaries, and your real human voice — TechShe Weekly is for you.
It’s where women rise gently.
🌿 The Truth:
You Don’t Need to Apologise for Existing
You don’t need to apologise for:
✨ asking questions,
✨ needing clarity,
✨ needing time,
✨ needing space,
✨ needing rest,
✨ having emotions,
✨ having boundaries,
✨ having a human brain,
✨ having a neurodivergent brain,
✨ being yourself.
You don’t need to apologise for taking up space.
You don’t need to apologise for being visible.
You don’t need to apologise for being human.
The week I stopped apologising for everything was the week I finally started living.
And honestly?
It feels like freedom.
